REPUBLIKA.CO.ID, JAKARTA -- Chair of the Applied Psychology Study Program, Faculty of Psychology, University of Indonesia, Rose Mini Agus Salim, reminds grandparents to understand the types of parenting when parenting grandchildren.
“The parenting style of grandparents or parents should adapt to the child's condition, because there are different types of parenting that can be used interchangeably,” Rose said during an online discussion in Jakarta, Friday (26/4/2024).
Rose explained that there are four types of parenting that must be understood. The first is democratic parenting, where children are free to create with restrictions and supervision from parents.
Second is authoritarian parenting, where parents act as rigid bosses, full of rules and direction. Third, uninvolved or uninvolved parenting, in which parents distance themselves from the child, but remain attentive to their basic needs.
Fourth, permissive or indulgent parenting, where parents are scant of direction, rules are unclear, and the child tends to be the boss. “The parenting style can be used interchangeably, depending on the situation and condition. For example, the child is approaching danger, so apply authoritarian parenting, and when the child is making crafts, then what is suitable is indulgent or permissive parenting, because he needs to express himself,” he said.
He reminds that parents or grandparents enrich information to keep abreast of current developments, by using various print and digital media, and following various activities. In addition, according to her, grandparents should have limits when deciding to take care of grandchildren, and continue to coordinate with the child's parents, and keep a personal agenda.
“There need to be limits, have to coordinate with the father/mother, discuss with the child what can or should not be for the grandchildren, and keep a personal agenda. So, grandmothers/grandfathers don't give up all the time in their old age just to take care of grandchildren, should have their own fun too,” he said.
He also reminded that grandparents are not too permissive and obey all the wishes of their grandchildren. “Do not fulfill all the wishes of the grandchildren, quarrel with the child in front of the grandchild or criticize the grandchild's parents, and do not take over the role of parenting from the child,” he said.
He also stressed that both parents and grandparents must understand their condition and be able to manage emotions. “Grandparents have to manage emotions, as well as parents. It is also worth remembering that the elderly are not directly responsible for the growth of their children or grandchildren, because it is the parents who have to play more of a role,” he said.
He said that grandparents must also understand the condition of their child (parents), as well as listen to their wishes and expectations for their child, given that parental standards are certainly different from their child's.
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