By: Asma Nadia

Ladies who carved the sun

Present in every period of time

No intention to be heroes

But, for keeping the balance of life

Some readers liked to ask, why I have never bored to raise marriage theme with sorrow stories. No intentions to make female fellows, especially who are still single, to be afraid of entering the marriage gate. But I also do not want to make the same commentaries about all men because I believe there are many noble men around me.

I just want to see how important it is to every woman to build a readiness on every side. Especially, after becoming a mother when the responsibilities are no longer to herself only.

Children who are gifted by Allah need a mother figure who are strong to lean on to. A mother who has broad knowledge every time they ask. Also a mother with strong Iman (faith) so she never loses patience and hope, even when life feels suffocating.

But those are not the only things our little ones need. They need a mother who has financial intelligence and creativity. Not only to prepare for an umbrella when the rain falls because of a cheating husband.

Life with all of its secrets and surprises could bring out different fate. When a husband is forced to delegate his economic responsibility, little or much, to his wife. Termination, tons of bills, business failure, or because of other reasons, such as accident, illness, or comes the time when Allah is showing His love by calling the householder back to Him.

A fact that raises fear itself, hearing a father just passed away. How many children does he have? Does his wife work or own a business? If his wife does not work, then how will this family survive? Will they be a widow and orphans who do not have any choice but only hoping for people’s charity?

A mother must give a proper life to her children when a father can no longer be. 

Do not wait until everything has too late. If the mothers have time to check on their facebook, twitter and blackberry messenger, still sleep eight hours a day, please invest your time into more productive activities. With current advance technologies, open up rooms to earn income, even without having to leave the house.

Ideally, the caring fathers prepare their wives to face the worst part of life. Actively broaden their wives ‘knowledge, buy inspiring books, explore potentiality, and then assist her to start a small business. Other than of course to bring their loving wives closer to Allah, so when it comes the time to lose the loved ones they won’t be losing their minds or reasons to live.

“When my husband passed away, my heart broke, Mbak. He never got ill before. But what will my children be if their mother just kept crying?’’ said Diah, a mother of three children, who currently works as a taxi driver and has made me stun.

Her perfect life as a successful contractor’s wife with lavish wealth turned so quickly. “It’s money, Mbak. If you do nothing about it then it fades eventually. Fortunately my husband has asked me to learn driving,” she added.

And, Diah was not alone taking on the hard life after being a single parent. There are many more stories. Mid of last year, I also read about Komalasari, a hijabi Muslimah, who after her husband’s passing, has to feed her four little children by digging up recyclable waste. Pulling her four children inside a wagon until late night.

Besides Komalasari, there are many strong women who work as bus driver assistant, parking officer, tire fixer, cleaning service and many other rough jobs. Not for the name of emancipation, but for a noble reason. Responsibility. For the family, for the children.

They are some portraits who keep many lessons. Gratitude of many facilities we have also is a motivation. Because, ignorance of what the future may take should wake every wife up and be prepared. Thus, how dark the clouds may cover, every mother could bring to her children, the sun.

(Indira Amaranti)

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