REPUBLIKA.CO.ID, JAKARTA -- In this day and age, there is a proliferation of young people who speak harshly to their parents, especially mothers. In fact, they always go against what both their parents ordered.

In fact, in the Quran it has been reminded to always respect both parents. Do not be rude, just say “ah” is forbidden for a child to say to both parents.

In Quran Surah Al-Isra' verse 23, Allah SWT says:

 وَقَضٰى رَبُّكَ اَلَّا تَعْبُدُوْٓا اِلَّآ اِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ اِحْسٰنًاۗ اِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَآ اَوْ كِلٰهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَّهُمَآ اُفٍّ وَّلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيْمًا

“Your Lord has commanded that you worship none other than Him and do good to your parents. If one of the two or both of them comes of age in your care, do not say to either of them the word “ah,” and do not shout at them, nor say to them a good word. (QS Al-Isra' [17]: 23).

The verse explains that the first and foremost duty of man is to declare, to confess to God and to worship only to Him, followed by the commandment of devotion to both parents.

In Tafsir Al-Misbah, M. Quraish Shihab says, it should be understood that devotion to parents commanded by Islam is to be polite, polite, friendly to both in speech and deed in accordance with the customs of society so that they feel good towards us and satisfy their legitimate and reasonable needs according to our abilities as children and the child's love for his parents.

The book Tafsir Tahlili Kementerian Agama explained that in this verse God commands that people do good to their two fathers. The mention of this commandment after the commandment to worship only God is intended to make man understand how important it is to do good to both parents.

It is also intended that they give thanks for the kindness of both parents, how severe the suffering they have felt, both at the time of childbirth and during the difficulties of making a living, caring and affectionately educating children.

It is appropriate, then, to do good to both fathers and fathers as the most important duty among the other obligations, and God is placed second to man's obligation to worship only Him. God said:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللّٰهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوْا بِهٖ شَيْـًٔا وَّبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ اِحْسَانًا 

It means: “Worship Allah and do not associate Him with anything. And do good to both parents.” (QS an-Nisa' [4]: 36).

On the contrary, a child who is disobedient to both parents is revealed as a doer, whose sin is placed second, after the sin of one who associates God with other gods.

Allah says:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا اَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ اَلَّا تُشْرِكُوْا بِهٖ شَيْـًٔا وَّبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ اِحْسَانًاۚ 

“Say (Muhammad), “Let me recite what God forbids you. Do not associate Him with anything, and do good to your parents.” (QS Al-An'am [6]: 151).

So, as Muslims, we should not snap at both parents about what they are doing, let alone do anything worse than snapping. Say to them in every conversation a noble word, a kind, gentle and kind word, and respect for them.

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